{"id":15117,"date":"2024-05-28T08:50:46","date_gmt":"2024-05-28T05:50:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lifekeskus.ee\/long-term-depression-and-recovery-helis-story\/"},"modified":"2024-08-31T12:37:04","modified_gmt":"2024-08-31T09:37:04","slug":"long-term-depression-and-recovery-helis-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lifekeskus.ee\/en\/long-term-depression-and-recovery-helis-story\/","title":{"rendered":"Long-term Depression and Recovery: Helis’ Story"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Helis (39)\r\n<\/h2>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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I have suffered from depression since I was a teenager. When I was young, I faced depression alone, with no one to rely on. I was bullied at both school and home, and it felt like no one cared where I was or what I was going through. I contemplated suicide many times. The only thing that helped me cope during that time was horse riding. These beautiful animals offered me a judgment-free escape. When I became an adult, I moved out on my own, and while life became slightly easier, the sense of security I found was only temporary.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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About eight years ago, my partner and I decided to have a child. While I did become pregnant, each pregnancy ended in miscarriage, one after another. This devastating experience sent me spiralling back into a deep depression. I kept everything to myself, telling no one outside the house what I was going through. I felt like a flawed woman and was consumed by shame. Since then, life has been very difficult for me. I didn’t want to do anything; I didn’t want to exist.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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The image is illustrative. Image by senivpetro, Freepik.<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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I was deeply depressed.<\/span><\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Two years ago, when I visited the occupational health doctor, he immediately recognised that something was seriously wrong. Opting to bypass a referral to a psychologist, he sent me straight to a psychiatrist and prescribed antidepressants. I was reluctant to take them and also dismissed any therapy that involved talking. Furthermore, I didn’t want to burden my loved ones.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Whenever I considered talking to others about my worries, it felt utterly pointless. I would think, “What am I complaining about? I have two arms, two legs, a roof over my head\u2014there’s nothing physically wrong with me.” But inside, I was shattered. I had lost interest in everything, and I no longer knew how to help myself. The only thing that kept me going was my dog.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Getting up in the morning and going to work required a lot of effort, but it was through a colleague that I first heard about MER biofeedback therapy. I could see from him how he was like a different person after the first session. He had become immensely calm. His job is very stressful and it used to affect him a lot. I asked where he went and he sent me a link. Reading the experience stories on the website gave me the final push to apply. A week later I was already in the therapy chair myself.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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I remember the day of the first therapy session very clearly. I drove to work in the morning, someone swam in front, the other turned forward and braked all the time. I ate very loudly in the car, yelled and cursed. In the evening I went to biofeedback therapy and I was quite nervous. I was very afraid that I would still have to speak, but I was calmed down.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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The picture is illustrative. Image by senivpetro, Freepik.<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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About half an hour into the session, I was already in tears without having said anything. <\/span><\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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However, ten minutes before the end of the session, I felt completely empty. I sat in the car and found myself indifferent to everything. While driving home, someone pulled out in front of me, and I simply observed without reacting. There was no more irritability. That night, I slept better than I had in years.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Around the third day after the first session, I noticed something interesting. Every time someone made me nervous, music started playing in my head. The same thing happened when my mind began to race with various thoughts. Before therapy, I had 150,000 thoughts running through my head all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Now, however, the music interrupted those thoughts. Some completely random song would start playing in my head, it played all day, and this continued for a month straight. In the end, I almost became frustrated that I couldn’t get frustrated! I found myself laughing and singing. It felt as though I had left a 100 kg backpack in the therapy room; I felt so light.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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As the sessions progressed, different changes occurred. I didn’t have an easy childhood. I had compartmentalised everything related to family and school, putting it all in a box in my mind and hiding it away. Now, MER biofeedback therapy had opened that box and brought my childhood traumas to the surface. I was forced to confront the burdens I had carried with me from the past. It was hard and uncomfortable, but I\u2019m grateful I was able to do it because now I’ve made peace with these issues.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Before MER biofeedback therapy, I would always get a lump in my throat when someone talked about children or when there were pregnant women in the group. Now, when someone talks about their children or pregnancy, I don’t feel indifferent, but I don\u2019t take it so hard anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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The picture is illustrative. Image by senivpetro, Freepik.<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Life is completely different now.<\/span><\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Previously, I would easily get nervous about everything, often experiencing panic and anxiety. Now, I might have a brief outburst, but it\u2019s over in an instant.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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After my sixth therapy session, I left the therapy room feeling absolutely euphoric. I was intoxicated with happiness! I sat behind the wheel of the car, called my friend, and laughed, saying it felt as though I was on cloud nine.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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The joy of life has returned, and I\u2019m once again joking with pleasure. This is something my colleagues and friends have noticed as well. Personally, I feel that the most important thing I gained from MER biofeedback therapy is an understanding of my own worth. I now realise that I am worth much more than I had previously accepted.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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In the past, others took priority over me. As a result, I have now started to take better care of myself, both mentally and physically. I stand up for myself and no longer allow other people\u2019s problems to intrude on my life.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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For me, biofeedback therapy was the final lifeline. My very severe depression is over. I no longer feel like I\u2019m in a hole so deep that there\u2019s no way out. If, after 3-4 sessions, I had just my nose above the edge of the hole, now I\u2019m already sitting comfortably on the edge. MER Biofeedback therapy is not a miracle; you still have to put in a lot of work on yourself, but it is an important aid.<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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I have recommended MER biofeedback therapy to quite a few of my friends, and they too have benefited from it.<\/span><\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\t\tWe are pioneers in the field of biofeedback therapy in Estonia\t\t\t<\/h3>\n\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tBook an Appointment<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Helis (39) I have suffered from depression since I was a teenager. When I was young, I faced depression alone, with no one to rely on. I was bullied at both school and home, and it felt like no one cared where I was or what I was going through. I contemplated suicide many times. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"disable_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[400],"tags":[402],"class_list":["post-15117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-depression-anguish-and-sadness","tag-depression"],"yoast_head":"\nLong-term Depression and Recovery: Helis' Story - Lifekeskus<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Long-term depression can last a lifetime. When fate dealt Helis (39) painful blows, everything seemed hopeless. 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