Meril’s Story: Overcoming anxiety disorders, intrusive thoughts, and sleep problems gone with therapy.
Meril (29)
A few years ago, I started experiencing anxiety disorders, but I didn’t pay much attention to them. I now realize that I didn’t take my mental health as seriously as I should have.
In fact, anxiety has been troubling me for a long time. As a teenager, when I was 14-15 years old, I was diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder. Back then, it manifested as hot flashes, severe headaches, a feeling of wanting to cry, a racing heart, shortness of breath, and intense fear. I was afraid to fall asleep because I thought I wouldn’t wake up. I started fearing that I might have a panic attack while walking outside and jump in front of a car or train. I went to a psychologist for counselling and took medication. I also read a lot on my own, and at that time, I managed to overcome my worries.
Photo from private collection.
I’ve always had an immense need for self-realization, which pushes me to take on multiple tasks at once and give my all. Two years ago, I felt like I had pushed myself to the limit. This realization was triggered by my grandfather’s sudden and serious illness. My grandfather was a very important person to me, and I couldn’t cope with his condition.
My anxiety disorders returned, which I hadn’t experienced in over a decade. Severe panic attacks started again, and I even called an ambulance for myself. I went to a mental health nurse’s consultation, where I was referred to a psychologist, who then sent me to a psychiatrist. I was prescribed medication, which I took for a year and a half, and I felt that it helped.
However, the psychiatrist encouraged me to also seek out a suitable therapy.
They explained that my problem would keep recurring if I didn’t address its root causes. I started meditating and tried a neuromodulation program. It’s a great tool that helped me learn to recognize my thought patterns. I tried to rewrite that old, familiar pattern that pushed me to take on too many responsibilities.
Photo from private collection.
The medication helped with the anxiety, and I managed to catch hold of my thought patterns, but what I couldn’t get rid of were the intrusive thoughts. I kept overanalysing everything, spinning thoughts in my head, and winding myself up. I felt stress building up. Then my grandfather passed away. Losing such an important person forced me to seek external help. I saw a post from Lifekeskus on social media and decided to look into it.
That’s when I found out that a friend of mine had already tried MER Biofeedback® therapy. She shared that she really liked not having to talk during the sessions and described how, after therapy, her mind felt empty of thoughts. That was a feeling I deeply longed for. By that point, I had serious sleep problems because the constant intrusive thoughts wouldn’t let me fall asleep at night.
Right after the first therapy session, I had the same experience as my friend. There were simply no more thoughts in my head! It was an indescribably good feeling. While my friend enjoyed not having to talk during therapy, for me, communicating with the therapist has been very important. The conversations with the therapist have been supportive, and they’ve opened up new perspectives for me, which have helped me tremendously.
Image Author Jake Farra.
However, I notice the biggest impact in the quality of my sleep. From my smartwatch, I can see a significant difference between what it was a year ago and what it is now. Previously, I hardly had any deep sleep at all, but now I get several hours of it during the night. Anxiety disorders and obsessive thoughts are a thing of the past. I no longer need to take medication to cope.
I have now been undergoing MER Biofeedback® therapy for a year. In my opinion, it should be normal for people to attend therapy regularly. It should be as basic as going to the gym. Supporting one’s physical body is commonplace, but routine is equally important for mental health. I know very well how things can spiral out of control if left unaddressed. I never want to feel the way I did back then again.
Now, I am in control of my mental health. As soon as signs of anxiety arise, I can recognize and address them. I now know how to identify my triggers. Whereas before I was constantly exhausted because I didn’t sleep well and had to constantly strain to hide my struggles, my energy levels are now completely different. I am once again the optimistic and joyful person I used to be. I speak openly and directly with everyone about working on my mental health. I honestly admit to myself and others that I have anxiety and that I attend therapy.
I absolutely recommend MER Biofeedback® therapy to everyone. I especially encourage teenagers to try therapy, as it helps them understand themselves better. When you’re young, everything seems so confusing and complicated, and biofeedback therapy can bring clarity.
As a society, we would be in a much better place if everyone attended therapy, whether it’s MER Biofeedback® therapy or something else. However, MER Biofeedback therapy will always be my first recommendation.
Therapist
Kristo Epner
Meril has been my long-term client, and I have clearly seen the changes in her. When she first came to my office, I noticed her anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Through regular MER Biofeedback® therapy and thanks to Merili’s own desire and determination to change her patterns, we have achieved remarkable results.
It’s important to note that therapy alone is not enough, and attending a couple of sessions won’t create an overnight magical change. Progress happens gradually and often imperceptibly through small steps, but consistent small steps lead to the desired goals, and later, when looking back, we notice these changes as significant.
Merili’s determination and continuous investment have helped extend the impact of therapy, and through this, she has achieved her desired goals. MER Biofeedback® therapy has helped her understand and release tension in her body, which has allowed her to implement necessary changes with ease.
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