The insomnia and exhaustion that plagued me for eight years are gone
Terje (33)
About eight years ago, I suffered from insomnia, which worsened and began to interfere with my daily life, leaving me feeling utterly exhausted. Not all nights were the same, but difficulties in falling asleep and staying asleep became the norm. Some nights I didn’t fall asleep at all, or if I did, I woke up soon afterwards and couldn’t fall back asleep.
My insomnia began during a period of significant changes in my life and a particularly intense phase at work. It was difficult to concentrate during the day. I immediately started seeking a solution to my concern. I visited the doctor, consulted a psychologist, and even underwent a sleep study. The doctor said that my blood tests were normal, the psychologist did not make a diagnosis, and I was prescribed sleeping pills from the sleep study results. I took sleeping pills for about half a year but then stopped. I realised that they only relieved the symptoms but did not address the root cause of my problem. I wanted to understand the underlying reasons for my insomnia.
The picture is illustrative. Image by Freepik.
On the surface, everything in my life seemed to be in order.
I was educated, had a good job, a loving and supportive husband and family, ate healthily, played sports, and had no physical ailments. I suspect that I was actually experiencing depression during this period, although no one offered it as a diagnosis. I was continually reassured that everything was fine. Despite always being hardworking and efficient, I still didn’t feel like myself. In the shadow of everyday life and activities, I was plagued by exhaustion.
I realised that I needed to reduce the stress in my life. I began to look more inward and think about what I really wanted from life. I changed jobs, started practising yoga, learned to meditate, spent a lot of time in nature, and tried to get to know myself again. All these changes helped significantly, and the sleeping problems eased, but they didn’t completely go away.
When I was expecting my first child, my insomnia started to worsen again. I now believe that I probably also had postpartum depression after the birth of my first child. I soon had another child. Both pregnancies were difficult for me as I hardly slept at all. Some nights, I only got a few hours of sleep. It was exhausting. I felt like I was back to the beginning with my sleep problems.
I tried to help myself in every way possible. I was determined to find a solution and rid myself of insomnia. I researched alternative medicine, went to acupuncture, tried tapping and breathing techniques, practised yoga and meditation, learned about naturopathy, and even rearranged my bedroom furniture according to the principles of feng shui. I also kept a journal and created a sleep routine as recommended by sleep consultants. However, the sleep problems persisted.
The picture is illustrative. Image by Freepik.
Sleep is a basic need. Since I got very little sleep, it inevitably affected my mental health.
Although my family has been very supportive over the years and I always tried to be myself, be happy, and enjoy my life, I became irritable easily. The will was great, but the strength was little. During the most difficult period, I felt like I had only two emotions: apathy and irritability. I couldn’t be present in my life and fully enjoy my young children. I did what I had to do, but I couldn’t be completely happy, the way I am by nature.
My strong desire was to understand what was disturbing my sleep. I researched more and more about possible solutions, and in one course, the lecturer talked about MER Biofeedback therapy. I immediately knew it was something I wanted to try. A sense of recognition arose, as if meeting an old friend. The first time I entered the therapy room, I felt a deep trust and sensed that it was exactly right for me.
The first sessions were physically challenging for me. I had a severe headache and was very tired. However, after the third therapy session, I felt a significant change because I experienced a powerful release. I remember the joy and strength of life gradually beginning to flow into me. I fell asleep better and deeper every day. For the first time, I slept until the alarm clock went off! I don’t recall ever sleeping so soundly that an alarm clock had to wake me up.
I started going to therapy in August, and by October, I was already sleeping undisturbed. By February, I felt that insomnia was no longer a problem for me.
I realised this when I had to sleep in an unfamiliar place and slept long and peacefully. Previously, I often didn’t sleep at all, let alone rest, when I was away from home. My good sleep has continued ever since.
It’s an indescribable feeling to be able to sleep properly again after eight years of struggle! Knowing that it is possible for me too was a revelation. I realised that before biofeedback therapy, I had merely been existing.
I had been constantly seeking a solution to my insomnia for eight years and tried various therapies, all of which supported me to some extent. However, it was only after undergoing MER Biofeedback therapy that I found a final solution to my problem.
Today, I have come to understand what might have caused my insomnia. I learned that deep down, I had a fundamental fear of abandonment, likely rooted in my childhood. Now, I am free from this fear.
With the weight of insomnia and its accompanying exhaustion lifted from my shoulders, I feel much closer to my future and dreams. Previously, I focused on finding a solution to my problem; now, I can focus on enjoying myself and my loved ones. I am grateful for what I have experienced on my journey and for biofeedback therapy. My daily life has changed drastically. I have never felt so good about myself and my body as I do now!