The anguish and boredom that followed the breakup were replaced by a renewed joy for life
Siiri (33)
I am a mother of two small children. I used to work a lot and, after work, I took care of the children, cooking, and housework. I didn’t think about myself; I devoted myself entirely to my family. My husband was often away from home, even on weekends, so everything related to the home fell on my shoulders. Then everything changed suddenly, and I became depressed and bored with life.
My husband left me with our two children for another woman. I blamed myself for not being a good enough wife, thinking that’s why the breakup happened. I realised I hadn’t paid enough attention to him. I felt worthless, believing that no man would ever want me again. I was plagued by a constant feeling of inferiority, blaming myself for everything (being a bad wife, bad mother, untalented, ugly, stupid, etc.). I was constantly thinking about what had gone wrong in my life, and old issues kept resurfacing.
The picture is illustrative. Image by Freepik.
The situation left me completely drained of energy. I stayed in bed, neglecting everything, even my children.
I lay in bed for days and didn’t go to work, which eventually led to me being fired. My mother supported me financially, and thanks to her and the alimony, we somehow survived. My depression deepened, and my zest for life disappeared. My mother and friends realised the severity of my condition and suggested I seek help. In addition to visiting a doctor, friends recommended MER Biofeedback® therapy. After looking at the website, I decided to give it a try.
After the first session, I felt a lightness – as if there was an emptiness in my head. The constant mental activity had stopped, and I experienced inner peace for the first time in a long while.
Remembering old traumas no longer created tension, and I lost interest in them. This was a very good sign for me at that point – some positive change! Immediately after the therapy, I felt much more energetic. I went home and started cleaning. In the evening, I was surprised at how much I had accomplished during the day, and it made me happy. I slowly began to enjoy my children and the little things in my life again. My zest for life returned! I started paying attention to my loved ones, reading books in the evenings, and attended three interesting lectures.
In the second session, the therapist addressed my low self-esteem, guilt, fear of change, and other fears. The topic of denying oneself change required a lot of time. I guess I had been resisting all changes internally. The therapist also shared humorous examples from her own life, which were both inspiring and encouraging.
The picture is illustrative. Image by Freepik.
A few days after the session, I felt a strong urge to change my clothes and appearance.
I usually wore black, grey, and dark brown, but I no longer liked these colours. I felt drawn to blue, yellow, red, and orange. I bought two floral dresses and high heels, even though I had never liked floral patterns or worn dresses and high heels before. I was surprised by this change.
But it wasn’t enough for me. I felt the need for a complete makeover. I no longer liked my old look. I decided to dye my hair blonde and started using cosmetics. My self-esteem began to rise, and my life changed completely. I started looking for a job, aiming for one with a morning shift and weekends off. I found a job in the packaging industry, and the team was positive and helpful. I am satisfied with my job.
In the third session, the therapist addressed anger, mistrust, forgiveness, and love. After the session, I found myself becoming interested in men again. It was an unexpected feeling. Previously, I had denied these feelings because I didn’t want to get hurt again. I didn’t trust men and always thought they would leave me for another woman. I was afraid of men.
The picture is illustrative. Image by Freepik.
No man could approach me, I always found an excuse – I had too many household chores or needed to take the children somewhere. Then, everything changed.
It was a colleague’s birthday at work, and he suggested going out after work to celebrate. I decided to join the others, and that’s when it happened. I developed feelings for my co-worker, and our birthday celebration turned into a dance party. We had a lot of fun, dancing until morning. Despite being sleep-deprived, it felt like we had rested for days. We energised each other and were bursting with love and happiness!
Without sleeping, we decided to spend the weekend together. The weather was beautiful, and he suggested taking my children for a drive in nature. I didn’t recognise myself at first! We went to my place, woke the kids, and announced our plan to spend the weekend outdoors. He knew how to get along with children, and they immediately accepted him. Everything happened as quickly as in a movie. I felt safe with him. He looked after me and my children, and our mutual care and affection warmed all our hearts. This feeling is hard to express in words – you have to experience it yourself.
It has now been five months since my last therapy session, and my life has completely transformed – my hair colour, clothing, workplace, and attitude towards men have all changed. I have found a man who genuinely cares about me and my children, showing his love through his actions. Depression and boredom are completely forgotten!
I have recommended MER Biofeedback® therapy to many of my friends.
Especially those who felt stuck in their lives and were afraid to move forward. They also tried the therapy and were satisfied with the results. It’s a wonderful technique. We all need to clear the past in order to move forward in our lives.
