Experience of a Top Manager: Overcoming burnout without reducing workload
Kaie (45)
I’m living the life of my dreams.
I work at a level I love, I own my home, have a partner, and my children are grown up. Everything is great, but there was a time when things were not going well at all. At one point, I felt I was on the verge of burnout. I became depressed suddenly and experienced anxiety attacks.
The first cracks in my well-being appeared in spring 2021 when my long-term relationship started to deteriorate. I engaged in self-destructive behaviour, started smoking again, drank too much alcohol, neglected my diet and sleep, and worked long hours.
Image is illustrative. Author of the photo: Freepik.
Image is illustrative. Author of the photo: Freepik.
It was typical for me to drink a bottle and a half of wine after work, cry, and wallow in immense self-pity. I reached a point where I questioned my worth. Looking back, I believe I was probably depressed. At that time, I did not grasp the severity of my situation and was very careful to hide my true feelings from my loved ones.
I remained in this state for about six months before I gradually started to recover. I threw myself into my work and was more successful than ever. My life revolved solely around my job. I began to approach my career more deliberately.
I enjoyed my work, but I was also constantly experiencing anxiety attacks.
My sleep quality was non-existent; my heart pounded, and the constant feeling of anxiety interfered with even my daily activities. Every time I had to speak or give a presentation in front of management, I felt insanely anxious, my heart skipped a beat, and I felt as if I was going to die.
I shared my anxieties with loved ones and was given a MER Biofeedback® therapy gift card.
It took me almost a year to finally seek therapy. I felt uncomfortable about needing help, thinking of myself as a woman of steel! Eventually, however, I took my time and went.
Going into therapy, I was nervous at first, but everything felt so natural. I was greeted by a cozy room and a pleasant therapist. The session flew by!
Image is illustrative. Author of the photo: Freepik.
I remember walking out of the therapy centre feeling strangely calm. I felt completely relaxed, much like the sensation you get after a really intense workout. I just sank into the car seat.
Image is illustrative. Author of the photo: Freepik.
The change was immediate.
When I woke up the next morning, I was completely speechless. For the first time in a long while, I had slept through the night and had been dreaming! This surprised me the most. I hadn’t slept so well in years, and I couldn’t remember the last time I had dreamt. All that day, I felt calm and uplifted.
Coincidence or not, I’ve received several promotions since I started MER biofeedback® therapy. I no longer feel intense anxiety, I am completely confident again. I meet strangers and converse fluently. I am as sociable as I was before.
Previously, I had never gone to therapy and was quite apprehensive about it. Now, I feel eager to return to MER biofeedback® therapy time and again. I’ve realised that mental health must be consciously addressed. However, I don’t want to lie on a couch and recount stories. I also believe that when someone is truly in distress, they can’t articulate anything.
I worked hard before and I continue to work just as intensely. Yet, I now recognise that burnout was very close. I was always able to manage at work, but the work-related stress and anxiety grew overwhelming. I feared whether I could handle everything I had undertaken.
My job often requires me to be abroad on assignments, spending half of my time in a foreign country, frequently battling sleep debt due to time differences. When travelling, I focus on the tasks at hand, but back home in Estonia, work matters still await in my mailbox each evening. It’s common for workdays to end at 10-11 PM when travelling, and in Estonia, slightly earlier, but still late, at 8 PM.
In order not to burn out, every manager should, at least once in their life, come very close to smelling burnout, standing on the edge of the abyss.
Burnout is insidious, it creeps up silently. By the time you realize you’re in a hole, it’s often too late. We managers often think we’re made of steel and ignore the warning signs. However, you must be able to read yourself and react at the right time.
I go to therapy to maintain my balance.
In MER biofeedback® therapy, I calm down, and new thoughts and clear goals emerge. I need this so I can keep doing the challenging things I do and be confident about them. I haven’t changed anything in my life other than going to therapy. I thoroughly enjoy my lifestyle! Thanks to therapy, my capacity to work has transformed. I can manage difficulties with ease and stress doesn’t break me.
In my view, biofeedback therapy is a form of therapy that suits the lifestyle of a top executive exceptionally well—no idle chatter, an hour in a comfortable chair, and then life continues as usual.
Image is illustrative. Author of the photo: Freepik.